Having Kids Should Never Stop You Pursuing Your Dreams
The oldest and most harmful myth in the modern mum “rule books” is that you must, and should, put your own dreams to the side when you have a family.
Your life should be ALL about the “Family Unit” ALL the time; you are no longer an individual, a person, but become the most noble and neglected of things… the Primary Caregiver, right?
Well, this is probably the reality of many mums’s today… and no doubt it was the fate of our mothers before us, but I’m less and less convinced that it should be.
I wouldn’t want any daughter of mine to reduce herself to washing, cooking, and cleaning every single day, with little prospect of anything better in the horizon… would you?
This blog is just a small step towards my goals and dreams; a little thing for myself that helps me to decompress and remember that while I may be a mum first and foremost, I am a woman too. And, do you know what I’ve noticed?
My family is happier, too; when we spend time together they benefit from my good mood (and any ‘real world’ success!).
I could quote dozens of studies to support what I’m telling you, but I won’t bore you; just take it from me when I tell you that going after your dreams is definitely what you should be doing this year!
You Deserve To Achieve Your Big Dreams
I could quote various research studies at you to back this up, but the evidence speaks for itself (and besides, when do busy mums have the time to read long, boring studies?).
In fact, this really is a matter of common sense and observation!
Think about it; what do we need, in order to have a happy, healthy family?
- The basics; a house, food, electricity etc.
- The life; time to spend together, etc.
- The future; hopes, dreams, goals and ambitions
We’re so quick to advocate that our children have goals, ambitions, and dreams, and we’re so ready to support our partners in seeking advancement, growth, and personal development…
Why do we deny ourselves that luxury?
And, in fact,
why do we view it as a luxury?
Let’s get real for a second, ladies; when your children pursue their dreams are you proud or resentful?
And when your best friend takes time to improve themselves and make themselves happier, are you happy for them? Of course, you are; you know that a happy person is a good person to be around.
You understand that it can’t be all work, all the time, and you want, most importantly, your partner to be happy.
So… the same rules apply when you seek to meet your own goals;
- Your children love you; they don’t resent your dreams or success! They want you to be happy!
- When you have time for yourself you are a happier, more relaxed mother, and therefore you’re able to have more fun with your kids.
- When you work towards an improved career you are fighting to provide for your family; this is an act of love and care.
- When your kids see you working hard and shooting for the stars, they begin to understand the value of hard work; you’re setting a good example for them.
Working On Yourself Benefits You Family
Have you ever had one of those days where you’re just fed up?
Where you’re tired, frustrated, dissatisfied, and ready to sit down and cry?
Of course you have… we all have! The point, though, and the question, is this; how were you with your family and children when you felt like that?
A little snappy, maybe? Terse? Less than your usual happy self?
What about when you’re feeling good? When your day has gone well, and you’re relaxed? When you feel fulfilled…? I think, between us mums, we all know the answer, right?
The truth is that we’re much better people to be around when we’re happy; happiness is infectious, and, furthermore, it makes us generous with our time, praise, and humour.
In short, when you’re happy, your kids are happy; it’s in their interests for you to take care of yourself and get some joy out of life.
Plus, when you work hard you set a good example, and let’s not forget that your family shares in any and all of the fruits of your labour.
All in all it seems that we’ve had it wrong all along. Be a woman first and foremost, it seems, and your ability to be a mother is greatly improved. I think that’s a win-win situation for everyone in the family!
So, we’re agreed, right?
We know that the better we are as people the better it is for our family,
the happier we are the happier they are;
leading by example we show our children, that every now and then we deserve to focus on ourselves.
All we need to do going forward is find out how to put it all into practice and make the most of every moment that 2019 has to offer to us and our families… stay tuned while I work that one out!
If you’ve got any thoughts on the benefits of mums following their dreams and taking time for ourselves, I’d love to hear them; drop a word or two in the comments below, and until then keep on trucking, girls!
We’ve got this!
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