Get On The Single Mum Dating Scene
So, you’ve decided to take the leap; you’re going to dive back into dating and find someone to make you smile! First of all, I’m glad to hear it; everyone deserves love in their life.
Secondly, I want you to know that I’m with you every step of the way; we all are, in my tiny community here at Tanya Dreams, you are supported by lots of other fabulous women.
You Are Not Alone…
I guess that’s the thing about being a single mum dating again; you know that there are thousands of people out there, tens of thousands even, in just your position.
This means there’s always someone to talk to.
It also means that you have access to the collective wisdom of those who have gone looking for love and romance before you! Incidentally, I’ve gathered together a few pearls of wisdom, some my own, to help you on your way!
Things Every Single Mum Should Do When Dating
When you do start dating there are some things you should keep in mind, some precautions you should take, and some good advice I recommend you follow;
1) Be Honest With Friends And Family
Just tell them that you’re going to start dating again. Now you need to understand that however they react, whether it be with concern or joy, it’s because they care about you.
Although do not let them put you off dating, unless they have some very valid reasons. Listen very carefully to their advice.
This love is what will help you to weather any bumpy patches, and their support will make finding someone a little easier.
2) But Don’t Rush Your Kids
There are a few opinions on this matter, but many people say that it’s better to tell your children, especially younger children, that you’re dating only when someone they might have a chance of meeting comes along.
If your children are much older then you may wish to ask for their blessing beforehand but remember that it is your choice in the end.
I’d say this; you know your children, and only you can make the decision that is best for them.
3) Update Your Wardrobe
If you were with your ex for a long time there’s a chance that your ‘dating’ clothes are not quite what they used to be.
Whether they no longer fit, the style isn’t appropriate anymore, or you simply can’t see yourself wearing the wrong ill fitting clothes, that will make dating stressful.
Treat yourself a little and get a new date outfit that makes you feel confident and sexy.
4) Figure Out What You Want
This might seem like a cliché piece of advice, but I remember dating at first! I had no idea what I really wanted (other than a nice man who was good company).
Figuring out if you want a long-term relationship or a short arrangement, whether you want a family man or a booty call (excuse the French there), is all important.
After all, your chances of finding something that you don’t even know you want are minimal.
5) Talk On The Phone
Get a good sense of who someone is before you date in person, especially if you meet them online! After all, you don’t want to waste time and money getting a babysitter for an unknown quantity.
Any reasonable man will be happy to talk on the phone with you before you meet in person. If he’s not, I’d be seriously wondering why.
5) Trust Your Gut
Amother’s instincts are strong (or so I like to think!)
Never ever ignore your gut if you feel that something is not right or a man is not being honest with you.
If he’s genuine he will understand caution, and if he’s not then you won’t fall victim to his games… and if you ever get that little feeling that something is really not right; listen to it.
6) Demand Respect
Remember that your time is valuable.
In fact, you probably don’t need me to remind you of that; we all know how precious free time is as a mother, let alone a single one.
So, when you do plan dates make sure that your date shows you the respect you are due; if he’s late, sitting on his phone, or cancels at the last minute continually simply… in the words of Beyonce “to the left, to the left”, move on!
There are men out there who will treat you well; do not accept bad behavior simply because your ex got away with it.
7) Wait To Introduce The Family
Your children will begin bonding with any potential partner that they get along with, so don’t bring anyone into their life that you are unsure of.
Mum you aren’t a “Genie”. There is no finger clicking or nose wiggling to make everything falls into place. Goodness, wouldn’t life would be simpler!
You can’t see how things will go in the future, but you should at least be certain of your feelings for him.
8) Listen To Your Kids
What do your children think of your date? What does he thinks of them?
These two questions are paramount and should be of the utmost importance once they have met.
If you’re bringing him home, we all know that means there’s potential. If the kids find something is off with him, or if they don’t gell at all you should be looking for ways to fix it or… dare I say it.. shut the door on him if it isn’t fixable!
Yes, they are children, but you are the mummy. So put your big girl panties on (the one that goes right up under the boobs) and don’t let your kids dictate.
9) Have Fun
Do not let this become just another thing on your to do list!
We deserve fun and love as much as the next person; arrange dates that make you excited with people who make you smile, and never let it boil down to finding ‘Mr Right’…
We already did that, remember?
Sadly, there’s no hard and fast advice for mums looking to get back into dating, and no one set of rules to follow.
All you can do is what you do every day, what we all do every day; make the best judgement calls you can and persist!
Don’t worry, from one single mum dating to another single mum dating, I have total faith in you.